No, not the music broadcasting station, I mean the kind that young managers learn about in their first year at business school.  Not that kind, either, I’m referring to the acronym KISS, for Keep It Simple, Stupid.  If some managers find it difficult to put into practice, at least the concept is part of their thinking.  But politicians go to different schools . . . .

At the Ivory Tower Academy for Aspiring Ministers they prefer to KICK ~ Keep It Complicated, Komrade.  At least, that’s the way ministers seem to operate; just look at the legislation covering taxation.  But what I really want to talk about is environmental pollution caused by road vehicles.  The problem is simple:  we use up the earth’s supply of fossil fuels, spilling oil as we transport it, and burn it in engines which belch noxious fumes into the atmosphere.  These emissions kill and injure people, and potentially build up so-called greenhouse gasses which could lead to the catastrophe of global warming.

Mr. Prescott came up with a solution.  Buy a new car.  Obtain an estimate for conversion to run on LPG.  Identify an outlet where you expect to be able to buy LPG.  Apply for a grant, which if awarded will vary between 40% and 75% of the cost of conversion.  Go to it, Komrade!

In contesting a minor by-election what every politician should have realised is that action, for most people, is less attractive than inertia.  What every citizen who has completed a VAT or income tax return knows is that you don’t go looking for more government forms to fill in.  Even if the good citizen overcomes his inertia, conducts his research, completes the grant application, and arranges for his car to be taken off the road for the conversion, he will still be using an oil derivative.  There is a simple alternative, Mr. Prescott.

When we decided as a nation to move to unleaded petrol, the manufacturers built cars to take it and unleaded fuel was available, at a discount, on every forecourt.  We could now decide, as a nation, to move to fuel made from vegetable matter.  Modern diesel engines can run on RME (a derivative of rape seed oil) without any conversion.   Increasing the production of rape seed would improve the lot of the farmer, and even hauliers might smile if some of Mr. Brown’s £35 billion surplus was used for substantial RME subsidies.  And in passing, there would be a reduction in the world’s dependence on fossil fuels in politically or environmentally sensitive areas. 

Of course, one can’t help wondering why RME or its equivalent is not available here when it is becoming more popular in other countries.  Could it be that we regard ourselves primarily as an oil producer, and regardless of environmental issues we don’t want to dampen demand for North Sea oil?  Or is it simply that the politician keeps his power only by perpetuating the myth that government is technically difficult?  What is it to be, Mr Prescott?  Kick or kiss my ass?