“The captain has switched on the seat belt sign and I would ask you to fasten your seat belt, make sure that your seat is in an upright position . . . .”  It is always the all-powerful, unseen captain who performs the important task of switching on the signs.  The odd individual might rebel, and some stewards on some airlines seem not to care whether or not we comply, but by and large we do as we are told.

“In the unlikely event of a sudden decrease in cabin pressure” the announcement continues, without specifying how unlikely, “oxygen masks will drop from beneath the overhead locker.  Always fit your own mask before attempting to help fellow passengers.”  Sound advice, and unless we are overcome by terror we will certainly reach for our oxygen masks.  “If the plane has to make an unscheduled landing you will be asked to adopt the ‘brace’ position.”  The safety video shows an unterrified couple put their hands behind their heads and lean forward so that they are completely protected by the seat in front.  I look at the seat in front of me, twenty inches away.  I would have to be a contortionist to adapt my long back to the ‘brace’ position. 

The last thing you would expect, in these unlikely circumstances, is that passengers would argue amongst themselves.  “I’m not putting on my mask unless all the remaining 427 passengers agree to put on theirs.”  “I refuse to adopt the ‘brace’ position but I agree to take off my socks as well as my shoes.”  “I will extinguish my cigar but I will light a cigarette.”

But if you put 180 people in the confined space of an environmental conference in The Hague then similar unlikely statements can be heard.  “I won’t change my unhealthy habits unless everyone else agrees to do the same.”  “I won’t reduce my noxious emissions but I will plant more trees.”  And meanwhile the plane continues to fall out of the skies.

It would be surprising if 180 people agreed on the colour of the seats in the conference hall, so it does appear to be the wrong forum for reaching a consensus.  But in this case agreement should not be necessary.  Each nation should be reaching for its own oxygen mask, dangling within reach.  Each nation should be encouraging neighbours within its own continent to do the same.  And then single delegates from each of the five (or six) continents should be looking at world achievements and monitoring realistic targets.

We don’t have a captain telling us what to do, but the unlikely event is happening.  Sort out your own life, and then encourage your fellow passengers to do the same.  Unfortunately, there is no way you can brace yourself for this impact.